Stories upon stories

This is where the master sleeps. What is more important is the Wisconsin ensign above my bed. I was lucky enough to get ahold of one for my birthday, thank you Mom and Dad. That flag is probably the in the top 3 best birthday presents of all time. Too bad I didn't have this in Virginia, but I look forward to carrying it with me where Uncle Sam takes me from here on out. Down the road I'll have to keep it hung in the "man room" or the basement. Whichever the missus let's me.

There is another reason why I wanted to show my room. On Wednesday I was working at the other pharmacy, Hario, and I recieved a phone call. I was told that my off-base housing chit was finally approved, and that I should pick it up when I got back to mainbase. Though it only took 30 days (note sarcasm) to get everything approved, the main fact is that it was indeed passed. This means I'll have a busy next month going to meetings/appointments in looking for a new place to live. Life every other human being in the world, moving is never a fun thought. I wish I could just be moved in, and not worry about apartment searching, the packing, unpacking, bills, etc. Either way I'm looking forward to this.

My story about this Wednesday is not over. That same day, but later all the corpsmen living in the barracks had a room inspection. 19/21 failed their inspection, and yours truly was one of them. There was one main reason why we failed, and that was because we haven't been inspected for like 4 months. We all became complacent and laxy-dazy. Senior leadership was pissed! The OIC even toured the rooms right after work, but remember that I was at Hario which was a good 35-40 minute drive when you factor in traffic. I wasn't going to be there when she looked at the room, and needless to say it was a bit of an embarrassment. My room was livable, of course, but it lacked the showing abilities for the Officer-in-Charge of the command. So I called in a couple favors and somehow got my roommate and Darryl to help pick it up a little bit before she came over. The story ends with her not inspecting the room at all because I wasn't there, but I spent most of Wednesday night detailing it. All the while I was smiling though because I knew I was moving off base soon. Though on Thursday I was asked by my LPO to "seriously consider not moving out in town." It took me about a half a second to reply that I thought about it and I wanted to move out.

My soccer team remains undefeated. We triumphed again with a score of 3-1. Of course we don't technically keep track of points and standings, but it's hard to not think about it. Each game I think about what we need to work on, and it motivates me that the team will come together and start listening a little more. If it is anything like last week though they will all seemingly forget that we won our game, is undefeated, and will continue try and catch the grasshoppers on the field. I guess what I need to try and do is incorporate more game-type drills at practice. Needless to say I'm beginning to like this soccer gig though in the back of my mind I feel like I was purposely given the most "talented" team to work with. Then again it could just be the coaching.

I have a date to the navy ball. This was a little unexpected, but I'm happy with the this developing story. So there I was on Tuesday. Flowers were delivered to this 2nd class, HM2 (Genell) Cody annonymously. My friend Laughlin delivered them to here, and he knows I have a thing for her/I told him and Darryl I thought she was being abnormally flirty the last week or so. Laughlin was all full of jokes this day because he told her that they were from me, and they weren't. When I walked past her desk she asked me about the flowers, and I flush bright red. There was a moment I thought I actually might have done that, but did not remember it since it was a move I would have pulled somewhere else. Anyways I leave the room and Laughlin follows and pulls me in an empty exam room. He asked me if I heard what she just said, and I asked him if he knew what he just done. Apparentely she asked me to the navy ball, but I was so filled with embarrassment that I didn't hear it. When I left the exam room I found my manhood and asked her back to the ball, and she accepted.

There was still the issue with the flowers. I had not sent them. Down the road we found out it was from someone who she helped with at some function. I had to act fast, so the next day I ordered flowers for her myself and had them delivered to the clinic. Laughlin again delivered them, but this time he told the truth. The rumor mill has it that I did good on deciding to send her sun flowers. So there are now two boquets of flowers on her desk, but I can now say one of them are from me.

My trials and tribulations with Genell don't end quite there. So I wanted to go on date with her before the ball. I'm not going to get into all the logistics of everything, but it took a lot of manliness to muster up the cajones to call her. Luckily she didn't hang up on me, and we went to some base function tonight. We listened to some music, at some carnival food, played some games, and I think overall had a good time. I would do it again.

I placed a $50 bet on the Packers/Bears game tomorrow. It was between another corpsman who is a bears fan. Poor guy, but he is a good guy besides his tendencies to like my two least favorite teams, Bears and Cubs.

Why do I feel that I could talk about more, but I'm running out of things to say as I write here?

Oh, so Garcia, the other pharm tech who came with me from Virginia is going TAD (permorary duty) to Yokosuka for like 8 months. My ass is a little chapped about this because they overlooked me even though I told my senior leadership that I would be the first volunteer to go somewhere. You are sent TAD for three reasons: a) you are shit-hot and you are an assest to the navy to be shared or b) you are a shit-bag and you are not worthy to be shared or c) you are a shit-bag and your command doesn't want to be embarrassed by sending you anywhere. Though I don't think I'm a shit-bag, my command knows I don't like my job, in fact hate it, and really don't care about my job since I do have other intentions with my naval career. Either way I'm happy for Garcia that he gets this opportunity, but I'm a little hurt that they wouldn't choose me. A tw0-sided sword this is.

I'm out of ideas for this post. I know there is more to say, but I can't think of anything right now. College classes are going fine. I wish my psychology book would finally get here. I ordered it on amazon.com in early August, but sociology is going fine. Just make online conversations.

Morale is high and things are looking good.

Death, Blood, and Carnage

What an interesting week at Command Fleet Activites Sasebo (CFAS). The medical department was very busy. I'm not sure what I'm at liberty to share so I'll try to keep to it vague, but I want to keep these two stories interesting. Pictured above is the largest ship at the base, the USS Essex.

(A portion of this post had to be edited due to content)

Back to my poker game. I started with $40 in chips, and I was at one time ahead by like $75-80. I should have done the cowardly thing and cashed out, but I stayed in, and a couple bad moves a couple hours later, and I was taken for all that I had. Rebuying to me is the dumbest thing ever because if you don't have it then you don't have it. Plus there was one friend who had $180 invested in the game and another with $110 by the time I left. The reason I didn't cash out when I was "supposed" to is because that is the cowards way out. Also, we play for the entertainment of the night, but what I should have done was play for the money. Lessons learned I suppose.

Besides that it was a rather boring week. I spent everyday in the pharmacy which just tickles me. After spending an entire month out of the pharmacy in the EMT class I have little room wiggling out to do this or that.

This past week I really sandbagged PT, and I've been trying to figure out why. The conclusion I came up with was I am afraid of failure of my sets. Something inside me thought that it would be better for me to just stay in bed instead of getting out there and getting some. That is detramental to my psychie since the whole idea of special warfare intial training is overcoming that mental weakness. I talked it over with Dr. Margraf and he had a different theory. He thinks I don't know why I want to PT sometimes, and to not have that set goal in mind it is hard to be motivated. He has a point, when I'm not out there with someone to train with I wonder why I'm out there. Yes, it's to one day do something high speed low drag, but I just train at a more optimum level when I'm grinding it out with someone.

Saturday was out first soccer game. We only had two practices. Our first cancellation was because of the Commanding Officer's visit to the clinic, and the second reason was because of "inclement" weather. Apparentally many parents don't want to see their child practice in the rain. To some degree I understand where they are coming from, but on the other hand it was only rain. Then again it was really coming down, and not just a drizzle. Back to our game. We won 3-0. Unfortunately we don't technically keep score, and for that matter have league standings. I was given lots of praise despite to my observation of lack in self-confidence. It gives me wind to put in my sails though to really look forward to this coming week in practice.

Darryl and I went out to eat at this little Japanese resteraunt sailors like to call "meat on a stick" because of how the food is served. Wasn't too bad, but more expenisive than I would have predicted. I should really get on that, exploring different more community resteraunts.

My command is jagging me around with moving off base. Initially I told them in my career development board that each paycheck is tight because of the things I paying back for. They are not forgetting this, and I have to do ANOTHER finacially councelling session to make sure I'm good to go. It is just frustrating that they are hanging this carrot in front of me. Each paycheck is tight because I pay more than just the minimum payments on things. I won't go into details here, but again, don't be worried nor concerned with my financial stabilities. I am doing just fine, but I'll hope to have better news on moving off base in my next post.

We had a 96 hour (4 day) liberty this weekend. The rest of the base had only a 72 hour liberty because Monday is Labor Day, and the base recongizes that holiday. We had an extra day off on Friday because we, the clinic staff, finished all of our online training in good timing. Get this though, if you have duty during this weekend, it is by order of the OIC that we be given another 96 because we HAVE to have a 96 hour liberty because we "earned" it. Your truly has duty tomorrow so I will be having another 4 day weekend someday in the future yet to be determined, but it's still comforting knowing I have it. Then again they'll probably jag me around for this too.

Some good news from the week. One, Rich told me that I should save up my leave time because I was just selected as his best man. Not sure when that'll happen, but it's comforting knowing what he told me. I told a friend who knows how much I write, and she joked that I probably already had a rough draft of the best man speech already knocked out. I was not expecting to be put in this position for him, so sadly not yet. In other good news, my friend of years, friend through tears Carlee is now engaged! She skyped me about an hour after it happened, and she could hardly breath she was still so excited. Stories like those that motivate me. On the other hand though it is in a way depressing. Friends all around me are now starting to get engaged, married, have families, and here I am in Japan. Meh.

Alrighty, I've been putting off my college homework for too long this weekend, and I will end my night with that. Some things never change I guess. Morale is high and things are looking good.

A kilo of rice

I like this picture for many reasons. First of all this picture was taken with the commanding officer of Naval Hospital Yokosuka. The Sasebo clinic is a branch, or satellite, extension of the Yokosuka system. Though we have an OIC who acts in the place of the CO when he isn't around, this is the man we have to stand in front of if we ever have to go to Captain's Mast. From time to time though he'll come down to visit and see what's going on. This particular day he was available to award us with our EMT class completion certificates. Though I didn't successfuly pass the national registry the first time I took the test, I'm not that worried cause I'm in good company. Of the 9 corpsmen that took the test, only 2 passed. Sure it would have been cool to not have to worry about it again and make my command happy for passing it the first time, but that's just the way she goes from time to time.

This picture is also very special to me because I had to really overcome adversity to pass the class. The first 10 days or so all I wanted to do was get out of the class. I wanted to beg and plead with my chief to drop me from the class. I'd been in verbal quarrels with the instructors because I didn't care. I was all jagged up in the head. Somewhere inbetween it all I found that needed motivation, and I stuck it out. Those in charge of me could have crucified upside down and nailed me hard with negative reinforcement until I got the picture, but instead they showed interest and cared and talked it through with me. One could say it was a miniture journey for me to overcome adversity and rise above my selfish wants and to look at the big picture. When the CO asked what we learned that is what I wanted to tell him, but instead I answered his question in my head.

The most superficial reason why I like the picture though is I think it's an overall good picture. It's rather symettrical, and I look pretty fit. For a time I'm making my profile picture on facebook. ;)

This week went by smoothly and without problems. I had an appointment with my councelor on Thursday and we had a good talk. She didn't give me a "homework" assignment for this week because I guess what we talked about was enough to grasped, and that I should just sit back and think about what we talked about. That is fine except it is nothing I don't knaw on already everyday. We talked about my place in this command, world, my friends and family. Overall a good talk, and I get to go back on Wednesday. It is good to just talk to someone. Especially when talking to those who I normally would are so hard to get ahold of since they live on the other side of the world.

I had the worst nightmare I have ever had. Between the death of Ted Kennedy, talking to my family on skype, my frustrations with the command, and a healthy dosing of youtube, I think I know how it was derived. This nightmare is possibly my worst fear, and I woke up crying and my subconscience could hear myself making noises. I'm just glad there wasn't someone sleeping next to me otherwise I probably would have scared the Hell out of them. My dream was I wasn't allowed to go home and I had to watch a "good-bye" video from my mother as she took her last breaths. It bothers me to think about it, but the dream was so powerful and struck such a chord I can't internalize it. Let this be a great big nod to my mother and how important she is to me.

I haven't drank in like 3 or 4 weeks. Last night a few of us went to Chili's on base. Everyone around the table was getting margaritas and tall drafts of beer. To Chili's credit they only serve MGD and Miller Light on draft. I drank diet coke. Owning a car is now a huge deterrant to drinking too since I drive so much. All it takes is one little hiccup and everything I've ever wanted to do with my naval career would vanish. Plus the BAC limit in Japan is .025 compared to .08 in the states. They don't mess around. When you mess with the bull you get the horns, and this is not a fight I want to pick. Some times living on the wild side just isn't worth it.

Highlight of my week: the swim meet today. It was Kris and I who represented the United States and the navy since we were the only Americans at the meet. Literally it was an all-Japanese meet. Years later I hope think that was kind of bad-ass, but it was confusing at the time. Luckily they were tipped that we were coming, and were very accomadating in helping us get to where we needed to be.

Of course the meet was a lot of fun. Though I didn't swim the times I wanted to, and me being the ignorrant person I am thought Kris and I would just walk in there and dominate (not the case, neither of won a race). There are piles and piles of excuses as to why I didn't swim the times I wanted to, but I'll spare you. Kristoph's girlfriend flew from San Diego for a few days and made it out to the meet too. She is very nice and pretty and if it wasn't for my lack of ability to make simple conversation with women, I might be able to tell you more about her. Just kidding, but seriously. So yeah, it was fun to get out there and just compete.

Scratch the swim meet being the highlight of my week, and I can't believe I almost forgot about this. We had a mock PRT on Friday, and I turned some heads including my own. At the end of the story I want point out that I scored an outstanding-high on my push-ups and the swim, and an outstanding-medium in the sit-ups (I missed an outstanding high by 1!). Sit-ups was 104 compared to 98 a month ago, push-ups was 87 compared to 80 a month ago, and instead of running the mile and a half I swam it instead. For a meter length pool we have to swim 450m. To get an outstanding-high at our altitude I have to swim a 6:55 or better. I clocked in at 6:26. I'm sure there are some of you out there who don't know what outstanding-high/medium means, and I don't necessary blame you. Sadly it's a much of navy/military jargon, and it would take a long time for me to write it out and explain it to you. Take this in comparison: I was looking at the PRT results from the spring cycle, and only 1 person scored an overall outstanding high, and he is now at a different command. I missed an overall outstanding-high by one sit-up and I have 6 weeks left to train for the official PRT.

One thing I didn't like about the good news of the mock PRT. Obviously word got around the ENTIRE clinic about my results, and there were all congratulating me and so forth. The guy who I train with, Darryl (Ice) didn't get one single congratulations and he is improving at a fantastic strides too. I'm getting most of the credit, but what people aren't really accepting or something is I wouldn't have been able to do it without him. A big part of me would rather not get any recongition at all if they don't want to mention his name with mine in the same sentence. Also, people aren't really talking about Dr. Margraf. I could make the argument that he saved my naval career by helping mentor me that there are larger things in this organization besides the clinic, pharmacy, and being a corpsmen in general. Now I can see how that can chap some people's ass, but with his leadership he has steered me into a direction I have too oft neglected to accept as where I need to be headed.

Some of you have gotten on the Skype train and I just wanted to say good on you. I don't need to mention any names, but I love folks who take my advice! :)

That's about it for now, but not without one last story. This is a shout-out for all you Wisconsinites who jest with me on different forums of communication regarding your misconceptions of Japanese culture. Kristoph and I were given a participation gift for competing in the meet. What we got? A kilo or rice. BOOM!

This isn't last year

To clear my good name, I will state for the record that I used this kids aiding contraption pictured here just once. If you want me to prove it I'll admit I only knocked 9 pins down. That's right, I couldn't even get a strike with a tool that forces me to only roll straight down the middle of the lane. Good thing "Awesome" is my middle name, and not "Pathetic."

A back story to us bowling now. The doctor who I workout with, Lt Margraf was just selected for Lieutenant Commander. Because he is an officer, the lines of frantinization are pretty defined. I wanted to celebrate with him so in order to bypass an "unduly familiar relationship" I got the ingenius idea to go on a "victory run" with him and Darryl (Ice) this past Friday. We ran the planned course before, but we never actually knew how far it really was. On Thursday Ice and I clocked in in my car's odometer. It came out to 10.5 km, or 6.5 miles. Friday morning came, and Lt pulls up in civilian clothes saying that he pulled his calf the evening before and couldn't make the run. If it was anyone else I would question the legitmacy in the claim, but for the good lieutenant I knew he was serious. Another Lt wanted to run with us, Lt Johnson, a nurse, who just started working out with us earlier that week. So we three take off, and I could tell that Lt Johnson's pace was not at the level of Ice and mine. Ice and I were talking about what to do Friday night and bowling came up. That was before an offer to go to a place called the "beer garden" where it's all you can eat and drink for $30. Darryl could tell I wasn't crazy about the drinking so we switched to more sober outing.

Friday night came, and I had already forgotten about bowling until I was at dinner at Chili's with Ice and he reminded me of it. When you bowl you need more than just 2 people to have a good time. So we called Laughlin and he came out. He has been on a different watch standing billet so his availabilty at night has been very limited this month so it was nice to hang with him for once. I also called a lifeguard I know, Christina, and she asked if she could bring some friends. This night wasn't going to be afterall; the more the merrier. Overall the night was fun. After bowling, Christina's sister Sarina, had just broken up with her boyfriend and she wanted to dance. So we parted ways with Darryl and Ice, and I took off with Christina and her two friends, and her little sister to the on-base dance club. We weren't there for very long when we had to take Sarina home, and right after one of Christina's friends wanted to be dropped off. Her friend, Christy, doesn't like Darryl or me that much, but that is another story for a different time. So it was now Christina, her friend Emi, and myself. We drove around Sasebo how teenagers do when one finally gets their car, and we ended up on top of a mountain which is the picture shown below.

This picture doesn't do the scenery justice. On top of the mountain we went for a walk. One thing I will vouche for is just how humid this place is this time of year! After the walk I took the girls back to Christina's house and I went home. Once home I watched the final disc of season 5 of "Entourage" and the first half of "G.I. Jane." The latter actually wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. Got me a little fired up when they were showing the spec war training scenes. I stayed up for 24 hours this day which is a new personal Japan record.

My friends are beginning to understand I don't like to bothered on the weekends. I just like to keep to myself an be on my own program. That's why I rolled out of bed at 3 in the afternoon. I did my laundry and cleaned up my room a little. Christina came over at 7 and we finished watching "Dogma." She goes to a Christian college back in the states and I wanted to show her a movie that told "the truth." Darryl came over soon later and Rich skyped me. There was a nice little conference call with the 4 of us. After Rich got off we decided to go out, but not before I got a McFlurry at McDonalds. In McDonalds the largest spider I had ever seen in my life creeped in from outside and scared the Hell out of Darryl mostly, but myself too. I was really creeped out since I had my sandals on. EEEKK!

After McDonalds we picked up Sarina and we went to sing kareoke. It was lots of fun surprisingly. Sarina, all of 16, invited some 22 year old sailors from the USS Patriot to come with us. They were nice guys, but on the whole way home Ice and I scolded her about how stupid she was and blah blah blah. I think we both liked putting on the "big brother" hat. That night I watched the Clint Eastwood directed "Flags of Our Fathers." It was excellent. Tonight I'm going to fall asleep watching "Letter from Iwo Jima." I'm rather stoked.

You may be wondering about my post title. Tomorrow is my 22nd birthday. What I mean by "this isn't last year" is not a metaphor. One year ago today I was in Green Bay with my best friends having the time of my life. It was the last time I saw Rich, Jenna came to see me from MN, and I was drinking enough to kill a small horse. Fast forward to today's time and Rich is living life in Vermont (though we talk seemingly everyday on Skype), Jenna is Jenna, and I really don't drink at all. This weekend I didn't have a single drop. A year ago I was excited about going to pharmacy tech school in Portsmouth and today I have to worry about soccer practice which starts on Tuesday. The times they are a changing. I hope tonight I have sweet dreams about one year ago and how special of a time that was to me. If you were there, if you called, if you expressed your wishes of being there, but couldn't, I want to tip my hat to you.

Can't remember if I already told you all this or not, but I'm going to swim my PRT in October. After looking at the times I realized/figured out I can score higher if I swim instead of running it. That doesn't take away that I still need to work on my running because I'll need to do both for the special warfare PRT. As long as I'm in the fleet though, I'll score as high as I can. Because I chose to swim the PRT, I expect nothing less than to score an outstanding-high. In the spring PRT cycle I scored a good-medium. All of this will be discussed in more detail the closer it gets to mid-October.

This week went by a lot better than last. My councelor was right when she suggested I get more sleep. It has made all the difference. At my depression/anxiety screening it was decided I have neither, and no medications were prescribed. I was also taught some breathing exercises. Whenever I get antsy I need to learn to breath and take into consideration that a lot of this is out of my hands and just go with the flow. I still have a weekly follow-up meeting which is nice, but this department of my life is going along much smoother than before. It's amazing what a nicely pressed uniform, shined shoes, and a fresh haircut do to morale too. Here I thought it was all about just looking good, but I just feel better too when I don't look like a shitbag. Nothing in the world like a high and tight to the skin with a 2 on top.

I got a care-package from my godparents this Friday too. I've expressed my want for cheese, but it just can't be done in the hot months my godmother was told. So she sent a slew of candies and thoughtful things. I was very appreciative and need to shoot out a thank you letter after this.

I've hinted at it earlier, but I'm a little nervous about soccer. It's not that I feel like I'm incapable of handling the job, it's the schedule I'm fretting about. Practice starts at 4pm which is the time the workday ends. The commanding officer from Yokosuka is coming on Tuesday and wants a Captains Call at 430pm. I'm not sure how this will work, and this is the first day of practice! That's one nice thing about having another coach like Kris in swimming. Time will tell on this one, but I can already sense hightened stress levels. grumblegrumble.

Oh, the EMT final exam was also taken on Friday, and I passed the class! My scheduled test for the national registry exam is this Wednesday. I'm a little nervous, but what can I do about it? I can only study and pray for deliverance. My feeling is my command is holding onto my off-base housing chit until I'm registered cause I haven't seen it back yet, but this is just a hunch. Either way it's plenty of incentive depsite the shitlist I've been on since last week.

All this said, happy birthday to me, morale is high, and it should be another eventful week.

Growing Pains

This is going to be a rather humbling post. There isn't much I'm going to share that is "good" news. It was a rough week for this Sconnie Sailor, and I have to be fair in relaying the news. I've never taken a journalism class, but I would bet that being fair and honest is part of the trade's ethos. A picture does not kick off this post to remind me just how bad of a week it was. At the end of the story though, as I'm sure I'll reiterate, this was a growing pain that I'm going to learn from.

I think I set a new command record by being written up twice in one day on two separate occasions. A write up in the navy is called a "councelling chit." Both stories end up my fault, but in my opinion honest mistakes. Both stories though pissed off the wrong person, and I need take my licks to learn from my mistake no matter how honest it is/was.

So there I was, standing Thursday duty. Standing duty consists of staying at the clinic overnight in case there is an emergency call, and we can be close to jumping in the action. It was my first night as the EVOC driver, aka ambulance driver. Up until this day I have never had to respond to an emergency phone call. On Friday's the clinic doesn't open until 0830 because the command has PT from 0645-0745. On any other day the duty crew is woken up at 0600, but on Friday's, because the clinic opens up so late, sometimes we are allowed to sleep till 0700. So 0600 rolls around and I haven't heard anything over the intercom yet, and no one has come to get me yet. I'm not going to get up earlier than I have to, and just stand around more than I have to, and I think that is typical for anyone. That's why I stayed in bed and kept one ear open to be woken up. O700 comes and my alarm goes off to get up. As I'm sitting up in bed wiping sleep from my eyes there is a call over the intercom, and I quote, "Duty crew to the back desk." In my mind I thought that was the code to get up. So I put on my pants, blouse them, and I'm ambling down the hallway when someone comes running down the hallway coming to get me. "Rastall! Let's go, there's a call!" When I get to the back desk the ambulance was already running ready to go (my job). Though I haven't signed anything yet, that'll be for tomorrow, I'm certain my write-up will be that I took too long to respond to a call.

To piggyback off that, there was my first emergency call. A chief-selectee had suspected heat stroke at Nimitz Park, our PT field/track. Luckily it wasn't heat stroke, but later diagnoised as heat synecope. I haven't heard of it either. It was scary, but a learning experience. There was plenty that could have been done better, but we loaded him up and went. On my first day on the job too! Grumblegrumble.

This next story gets a little more complex, and there is a lot of military/navy jargon, but I'll try to break it down Barney-style. Before I go any further, I must explain what a chief is. A chief petty officer (CPO, or LCPO if they are in your chain of command which stands for "leading chief petty officer") is simply called "Chief." The chief's mess is the world's biggest, most closely knit fraternity in the world. It is known that chief's run the navy. In our 11 general orders for standing sentry there is an unspoken 12 general order, "the chief is never late, he is only detained." There are 3 levels of chiefs: chief, senior chief, master chief (e7-e9). I have been noted to say I'd rather be a chief than an officer. Just by achieving the rank of a chief grants you automatic respect, and the chief is in a league of their own. Robert De Niro in "Men of Honor" was a chief. Having said this, a chief has to earn this rank more than any other rank in my opinion in the navy. They are the essence in what a leader is. A good chief will mentor and lead his juniors even though it would take an act of Congress to demote a chief. Reaching chief is like reaching tenure in the navy.

My LCPO will be just called Chief in this story. I learned a valuable lesson in this story: no matter what I'm about to do, I must always ask myself this one question before moving forward with it, "does Chief know about it?" If not, then it isn't a very good idea. The bottom line to this story was I was the bus driver and I ran my chief over. Now, Chief Bennett to me is a good chief. He is very knowledgable, experienced, a human being, and has played this game for almost 19 years. He could say that he was apart of the "old navy." He has been a mentor to many people, and I'm self-proclaiming that I'm his next project, but not before a little hiccup or two.

Earlier this week, Wednesday to be exact, we had a long talk after working hours, like 1 1/2 hours of his time. We talked about about all ends of the spectrum. It was a invigorating talk, and I found the motivation to not want to beg him to quit EMT class. We also talked about my tuition assistance (TA), and how part of it was denied. Chief had talked to the OIC (Officer-in-Charge aka Commanding Officer of the clinic) already about it and passed what she said onto me. Okay, so it was a good talk, and I left.

This is Thursday now. All e4-e5 have an OIC call. That's when the OIC comes and talks to us separately from the rest of the command, and where we can field our questions to her. So enroute to the meeting I check my mailbox and my TA chit is in it with a note saying (paraphrase), "LT (my department head) reccommends I talk to the OIC about what part of my chit was denied." Wondering if something came up from my talk with chief or what, after the OIC call I popped in her office and asked her about the TA. She essentially told me the same thing Chief did, and obviously so. When she answered my question, I left, not thinking anything about what I just did wrong. I got a note from my Department Head, a commisioned officer, recommending I talk to the OIC about something. Since I didn't think it was a big deal to ask her a quick question, I did what I did, and left.

Not so. There is a right way and a wrong way of doing what I did. I was supposed to route a chit through my chain of command informing them that I wished to speak to the OIC. The irony about this though is I didn't wish to speak to her, I was recommended by someone higher in my chain of command to. Because I didn't route that chit to talk to the OIC, I left my chain in the dark, most importantely my chief. That's why he got so upset with me on Friday when the OIC asked him if he knew that I talked to her. For this, I recieved a counelling chit.

My day from Hell didn't end there. This next part is really "bad," but overdue and needed if I get rational, but still embarrassing. So Chief was councelling me. Not yelling, but letting me know I fudged up real good. He seemingly reiterated everything over and over. In my head all I could think about was this would not have happened if my LT didn't recommend I talk to her. After the 5th time of telling me the same thing, I finally burst out just that. I was pissed, it was a burst in anger. Wrong idea. This changed Chief's gears and asked me if I had anger managment issues (because a good military-bearing sailor does not yell at his chief). Because of my history, I admitted to him that I did.

Chief noticed from our talks and how I just acted towards him that something deep inside me was bothering me. The truth is that he's right. Anyone who follows this blog knows it. I try to vent it by explaining to the world in this blog just what is up, what's going on inside my head. Chief asked me if I wanted to go to counceling, and I agreed that I should. Later that day he made an appointment for me, and met me at the councellor's office. Like I said, he is a good chief and he is looking out for me, but it's such shitty terms that it had to come down to this. The councellor was essentially a meet'n'greet. Trying to feel each other out. She wants me to do 3 things before our next meeting Thursday: get more sleep, schedule a depression/anxiety screening (I made it for Monday), and keep a more frequent journal of my feelings. In that journal I have to write the situation, grade my feelings on the situation, and what I did about it. I'm not looking foward to this since I'm always thinking, the wheels are always turning.

I understand that this is an extremely long post, but you guys should know what's happening. What bothers me the most is all people know about what happened was "I talked back to Chief." Many of those who I've talked to about it really don't know "the whole story." I signed a release to the councellor saying that my chain of command is granted access to what is discussed at my meetings. I figure the more they know about I am the better, and the councellor can be a good translator for what I'm unable to say about myself. This wraps up why my Friday was so bad, especially if you got a facebook post from me suggesting something bad happened.

The swim season is over. Our banquet was also on Friday. I was delegated the chief speaker. Why I don't know since it was made clear to the other coaches I'm not very good at talking to people. Also I am officially the head coach of the larger swim team of the two that attended. Overall I got good reviews though which was good. Next on the volunteer docket is soccer. I'll be the head coach of one of the 7-8 year old teams. The head coach for the other team? You guessed it, Chief Bennett. I haven't played soccer since I was 7 or 8, but how hard could it be? I look back to what I had to do, and I think I can repeat it. More to come on this later.

I officially get my car on Tuesday. I'm pretty jazzed up about that. Not much else to say about that.

Also, I'm now a certified SCUBA diver. In the basic course I got I'm certified to dive up to 60 feet. Today when we went out I got a little too much sea water in my mouth and eyes to enjoy myself, and my mask was a little too tight. Saturday was really fun though. It is something I'll be doing more later down the road. The guy in blue beneath this is Dr. Margraf, the Lieutentant I work out with in the mornings. He doesn't like being here about as much as I do, and diving is one of his releases. He has already told me that him and I will go out if only to get away from the stresses working at the clinic bring.

This post must come to an end. I've decided that I want to put a more honest effort into my EMT class, and I went out and got a haircut today. I also ironed my uniform. Chief stroked my ego hard enough to let me find the motivation needed to pass the class. I also need to shine my boots, and study tonight before I get up for PT with Dr. Margraf. This past week was a week where all things came to a head. Not everything is resolved, but a lot of things are brought to light about me to those responsible for leading me, and I'm thankful for that. My spirit was hurt on Friday, but it was not destroyed. I'm taking what happened as a learning experience and moving on with it.

My impreza does 185

This is it folks! My newest and first Japanese car. You are looking at a 1995 Subaru Impreza. Of course it's an automatic, but the air conditioning works which is really handy now that the rainy season is over. It gets really hot here really early in the mornings these days. Definately don't mind waking up just a little earlier to beat the heat on days I have to PT. Last week was the first day of summer I believe we had what's called a "black flag." The kinder gentler navy has developed a colored advisory flag system to let the base know on the weather. When certain flags are flown we are allowed to do different activities. The hottest is a black flag which means that we are not allowed to PT outside. From what I hear, it can reach black flag by morning colors (0800). No joke, I never thought it was possible to drink this much water, even in boot camp when 12 canteens a day was the standard.

Back to my car though. I bought it from another corpsmen for $800. Before I go any further keep in mind that driving and space are premium in Japan. To be able to drive, we must have insurance. Unlike the states though where we can make montly payments, we must pay one lump sum once a year. Because of my age and rank, I had to pay an additional $800, but now I don't have to worry about it until early August 2010. Also, we have yearly inspection/tax/fee to drive. This is called the JCI. It depends on what the size of the car is. A hummer is more expensive than a Geo Metro. JCI revolves around emission output, engine size, saftey requirements (ie tires, leaks, rust, fluid levels, brakes, etc). This is also paid in one lump sum once a year, but my JCI is good until Feb 2010. I'll be looking to pay an additional $800 to be deemed as "street legal" in not so many words. The guy who I'm buying it from is looking to buy a sportier car which is why he is getting rid of this one. I don't technically drive my car yet, but by the end of August I should be. There has been no money exchanges yet because of this little hiccup. Owning a car here is very reminesient of high school. It is a gauge of status here, especially with lower ranking sailors. A car gives me options of mobility, where I choose to live off base is now greatly expanded, too. I've talked to many people and they say that tank of gas usually goes about 2 weeks. How I love cheap, light, efficient Japanese cars.

Our swim season is now over. Throughout the entire year I only took two pictures! I hope this shows you just how fast the season went. The 3 girls on the right was our 3 top swimmers who swam for the entire season. There was one boy, but he was so flaky we didn't know which practice and/or meet he was actually going to show up at for one reason or another. The black boy is Vinson. In my opinion he deserves most-improved this season. The first practice I met him and felt bad that I actually allowed him to join the team. He couldn't swim, kick, anything. In other words he was beyond bad, he was downright horrible. We stuck with him though, and his attitude could not have been better. Vinson took everything we threw at him, and he progressed unlike any swimmer I've ever met. In his last race when he won his heat, tears started to come to my eyes cause I was that proud of his journey. It's kids like him that make this job so worth it.

In retrospect to the season it was a success. I will paste my letter I sent to all the parents to help give a more thorough background:

Hello everyone! I just wanted to shoot an email out to all the parents to thank them for such a great season. I was an honor to help your kids grow as not only swimmers, but hopefully into better people. On behalf of the coaching staff, we would like to foremost acknowledge that letting your child be able to swim would not have been possible without your support. If I was a young swimmer, I would tell my parents, "thank you" everyday for giving me the gift of being able to learn, compete, and grow in the pool.

The season had it's ups and downs as any sports season does. Families take vacations, coaches seemingly have too much on their minds, etc. In the end though we are calling the season a success. Every swimmer improved their strokes, times, and seeminly love of the sport. Personally, that is the greatest gift of a coach, to teach/mentor another with something you love, and their desire to learn it too.

Kristoph and myself hope to see everyone who can make it to our last meet this Friday at the indoor pool at 1800 (please be on pool deck by 1720). Some have already moved to their next command, some have chosen take part in other opportunities, but either way your participation at any point throughtout the year made our season as special as it was. ...

Well, the coaching staff had to go out and celebrate (of course). So Kris, the Hario coach/pool aquatics director, and myself decided to hit up a couple of bars. Kris is the guy sitting next to me,

John is the aquatics director, the bearded guy who looks like Scott Moiser is cool cat named Matt (he works with John, and he met up with us), and the girl is bartender we picked up at a previous bar. Anyways, by the end of the night, I was wrecked. Lots of fun though running with those cats. The next day wasn't so fun as I began my first day of scuba diving classes.

I suppose we can talk about scuba now. Sadly I don't have any pictures, but you aren't missing much. All we did this weekend was dive around in the outdoor pool. Next weekend we'll actually go out on a boat to see what's at the bottom of the ocean. I did manage to get rather crispy since I was obviously too cool to wear sunscreen. Scuba diving so far is lots of fun. Something about being able to breath under water is so fascinating to me. With Kris being a navy diver, and the doctor who I work out with, Lt Margraf, being the one who reccomended the class in the first place, I have two automatic options of people to dive with when this class is over. Plus there are 3 people in the class who I've never met before so that just expands my networking on this base, and you know I'm all about that.

If I could disenroll from this EMT class, I would. It's not hard, it's tricky. In class we go over maybe 25% of the stuff we are quizzed on. On the surface it is a corps school review, but the possible answers of situations we are tested on are so close! Plus, it is the best answer given. That means there could be 4 right answers, but which on is the BEST. Also, there could be 4 answers given, and I'm thinking "no way I would do any of these procedures," but which answer would hurt the patient the least. In the end we are not training how we fight. What I mean by that is I would to see that 25% be quadrupoled. All the answers are apparentely in the book, but why do we have class if we don't go over any of it? Shouldn't we just show up on testing days? Plus there is a certain 2nd class I semi-resent. They are 22 (like me later this month), and especially after hanging out with Kris, a spec war sailor, the way we handle military bearing is so jacked in my head. I suppose this is just incentive to get that stand-out evaluation, dominate the advancement exam, and pick up 2nd class too.

Sigh* That is a good segway into my next point. It is becoming very obvious to me that I am NEVER happy being just where I am. I'm always just looking at the next thing to move on to. All through boot camp I couldn't wait for corps school, all through corps school I wanted to go to pharm tech school, and all through pharm tech school I wanted to be out in the fleet. Now that I'm in the fleet I'm not happy with what I'm doing. My name has come up in "the most angry at the clinic" conversations. My morale stays high because I realize that everything I do is leading up to what I want to ultimately do. I just know that this isn't it. I have a hard time taking a step back and simply enjoy the view. "Patience" and "Understanding" are tattooed on my arms, and they are even more critical to accept during these times in my life.

Some really good mail came rolling in this week. One was from a boy in college, Matt. He mailed me a miniture packer flag. I carried that with me the entire day. It's now hanging on my wall. I was super surprised to get a care package from him, but I'm taking it and I'm very grateful for his consideration. The Blum family also mailed me a slew of letters. All four of them wrote something. Their replies will be mailed on Monday. Thank you everyone who has ever mailed me everything. Not sure if there is anything better which can brighten my day.

I'll tell you something that chaps my ass though. Tomorrow will be 14 days since I put in my chit to get my overnight liberty card. Usually a chit shouldn't take more than 72 hours. Picking up what I'm putting down? My command is epic failing me. Nothing stings more when you jump all the holes you're asked to and come up short. It's not that I'm out late and partying it up whenver I can, but it's that freedom of at least having that choice. I'm a grown ass man who isn't fresh out of corps school, or a better point high school. This isn't my first picnic living away from home. What's the point of having policies if they're not followed? Who can I complain to? My LPO knows how I feel, and she does her best to help me understand, but things still aren't adding up in my head. On top of this, I need a blue card to put in my chit to move off base. That ball can't start rolling until it has been approved. My command's ineptness is losing me money. Needless to say I will be at our OIC's (Officer-in-charge) Call this week. UGH!! I'm sure they're behind closed doors calling me PB. That's short for Pillow-biter.

That's about it for now I think. Morale is high, but I'm frustrated. Someone suggested I stop my facebook countdown until the end of my first enlistment, but I think if I had to post anything, there wouldn't be anything more fitting.

Being awesome is just a consequence of being me

Honestly I was going to have a sweeter post title than what I had, but I forgot what the person who told me it said. In past posts I said something to the effect of how I should write some of the more clever things that are said throughout the week down.

Can you read what Laughlin's shirt says? It reads, "an awkward morning beats a boring night." I think that was a self-motto a couple of years ago in Green Bay, but I just smile at it remembering the crazy times those days carried. Which brings me to an interesting thought. I'm still very young, I realize this, but it is amazing to me being able to look back and see all that I've done so far. In a way that's why I write down what I've done. Many years from now, those after me may want to know what boot camp was like, or what I thought of Japan. Time is flying by which is good. I want the rest of my life to begin ASAP.

Though I remember mentioning last week that nothing much was planned for this week, I was partially wrong. First of all, I submitted my tuition assistance chit to my chain of command. Each fiscal year, every sailor at our command is allowed $4,500 dollars in tuition assistance (TA). I went for broke, I'm taking 16 credits between 31 Aug and 24 January. That's a $3,200 bill the navy will pay for college. TA is different from the GI Bill. As most of you know, I'm not eligible to take the GI Bill until I reenlist for 36 months AFTER my initial 5 years are up because I took the loan repayment program to pay for all my federal college loans. If I can secure a bachalors degree before my first enlistment is up, and that's the way it's looking, I'm going to have to look long and hard about reenlisting to secure the GI Bill. Then again, if I do the EOD thing like I'm currently penciling in, then I will stay in longer.

Wow, I'm getting off track and started to write a constant stream of consiousness. My point to the above paragraph is the navy is paying a lot of money I would have had to find as a civilian I don't have to just to pay for college. If I put in enough time and if I become eligible for the GI Bill, then that's a helluva lot more money for college when I get out. Do I want to spend all that time in the military though if I already have a college degree and there's a job market for my intended major (political science)? Or do I stick it out so I can land my masters in public admin too? I suppose I'll be asking myself a lot of hard questions in 1,303 days when my first enlistment is up. Too much depends on where I am in my naval career. What rank I am, what's my job, where I'm stationed, am I in a relationship, health of my family, etc.

I'm going to be SO busy through the holidays. For the entire month of August I'm taking the EMT-basic class. The more watch-standing qualifications I have the happier the command is with me the more leverage I have in requesting certain things. Plus EMT class gets me out of the pharmacy which is always nice. Starting in September I'll begin going back to college (intro to sociology, a class I earned a D in at UWGB so I have retake and intro to psychology. You bet I'll be talking to Neuman more). Also in September I'm going to begin the process in moving off base. I get paid a lot more money once I live off base. More freedoms too and more responsibility which I am thriving on.

On top of this, I will be buying a car. Hopefully by the end of August. I remembering last year I wanted to give myself a birthday/Christmas gift to myself with a car. When I found out I was coming here I threw that thought out the door, but it's now looking like a reality. Rumor has it another corpsmen is selling his car for $800. That would be bank. This way if anyone comes to visit I can be there in my car to pick them up at the airport, and when I get my own place they'll have a place to stay. This is a continuous work in progress, but the busier I am the better.

I had an interesting conversation with an old friend back home regarding me and being as busy as possible. I told her I want to be as busy as possible because a) I have nothing better to do while I'm over here and b) it keeps my mind off of the things that are bothering me back in the states. The whole wishing I could be there with everyone, but not being able to theme primarily. Also seemingly getting the middle finger from those who I wanted to be closer to. This isn't just subject to one particular person.

Back to why I'm going to be busy. Next weekend I'll have a basic scuba diving class. It cost $300 so it better be good. I'm taking it because it will be a good scale to see just how comfortable I am below water. You know, for future career plans. I'm looking forward to it, and hopefully I'll land a couple of good pictures.

Also, in a deal I struck with my LPO to be able to take all these classes for college, I have to "give back" to the command. That means I agreed to get on a schedule to complete a bunch of "required" corpsmen courses and basic military knowledge courses. Though they aren't technically required, my LPO wants to see them done, and if I want to get what I want (in this case an abnormally high number of classes covered by TA) I need to make her happy by getting these courses done.

On top of all of this I plan to still continue coaching on a volunteer basis. I'm trying to max out my volunteering so when I leave here the organization who I volunteer for, MWR, will put in a letter to recommend me for the outstanding volunteer ribbon. You could say I'm a whore for eye candy. That's the ribbons and awards we wear on our chests. This dates to right before I was leaving for Japan when my mother asked me if I'll come back with more than just the two ribbons I was currently wearing on my chest.

We had a mock PRT (Personal Readiness Test) on Friday. It's push-ups and sit-ups in 2:00 and a 1 1/2 mile timed run. Well, in my group who did it, I scored the highest in sit-ups (98) and push-ups (80) and finished third in the run (11:58). You can land the push-ups and put out on the sit-ups, but if you don't stick the run, everything you did was in vain, and that's what happend to me. I was looking to run a 10:45, so I was very disappointed/embarrassed. I contribute 3 reasons why I flopped on the run. 1) it was abnormally hot when we ran. I usually PT at 0430-0645, but we didn't start the PRT until 0715. I was sweating balls out there and it was getting to me. Plus I couldn't sleep the night before since I was too excited though I was hydrated enough. 2) I did a poor job in getting the blood back from my arms to my legs for the run. After the push-ups we have 10 minutes to start the run. When I started the run though it felt like my legs were still cinder blocks. Needless to say I was facing adversity from the get-go. 3) We run on a track. I wanted to split a 3:50 my first lap, but when we ran past the starting line we were splitting a 4:05. That played mind games with me and really got in my head. We will have another run in a month, but if we don't agree to start the PRT earlier in the morning when it's still cooler I will push to swim the PRT instead.

A Chili's resteraunt opened on base this week, and Darryl came with me on Saturday night. I had a gin martini and a tall boy draft of MGD and I was feeling too buzzed to have another drink. I'm becoming too much of a softy. The food wasn't too bad, and I think this was the third time I unknowningly ordered the triple fajita meal. The last two times was in Chicago. Seemingly a little pricey, but that is probably because it's the first resteraunt on base that serves actual food. It's funny because two corpsmen are the new bartenders and I had to chuckle to myself watching them. They seemed lost behind the bar: looking at drink recipie cards, pouring shots out of jiggers, and just looking uncomfortable all over. Made me wish I was back there owning the bar how I thought I did at Victoria's in Green Bay.

The week looks open for possibilities. I have EMT class every day, I'm going to start pounding more pavement and putting on the milage in my running routine, and follow-up on buying that car. Oh, on Monday, I was on pool deck on practice when Chief Clay came by. He was on our relay team and I networked with him well I thought. We were talking about my career development board and how my chief essentially ignored me when I told him I wanted to cross-rate to EOD. He asked me who he was and I told him. Apparentely they served on the USS Essex together when my chief was a 1st class petty officer. He told me that he'll talk to him for me. So I wonder how that conversation turned out.

Morale is high. I have tons on my mind, and I often lose myself in thought thinking about near everything. LOL I guess it's noticable to other people too because someone called me on it. Maybe I'm seemingly grumpy a lot of the time because people disrupt me in my train of thought.